Boys are stupid anyway


So guys, in my previous post I told of how nothing seems to ever materialise quite like I had hoped.

I’ve decided to continue with the same idea for this post but….

The difference this time is that I have instead decided that I need to get me a boyfriend. Yes, there was a man shaped hole in my eight year old life.

And there was only one suitable candidate; Aidan.

Over the next three years, I remained desperately in love with Aidan and this time was spent trying to ‘woo’ him into loving me back. However, this proved more difficult than I had envisaged.

As I was caught in the midst of a love triangle.

…With Antoinette, my then best friend.

djdj

 

(If you’re wondering; yes. It is the same Antoinette in my last post and yes, she was by then, my best friend. How you ask? Being the tactical wizard I am,  I changed my game plan; I realised that crying and threatening to tell if anyone resisted being my friend is a sure fire way to win me some friends. However, Antoinette soon realised that under the bad haircut and needy exterior, I wasn’t so bad.)

 

Seems legit.
Seems legit.

 

What’s that? You don’t want to be my friend?

 

TOO BAD!
TOO BAD!

 

We both fought for Aidan’s affections and quizzed him daily on who he ‘loved’ more. Just so we could measure our progress and up the stakes as needed.

“Who do you love more?” Antoinette enquired.

None of ye’s.

But if you had to pick one? I added.

I hate you both.

Why?!

You’s are too annoyin’!

“Are you sure you don’t love us?” Antoinette asked.

Yes.

“Definitely sure?”

Leave me alone or I’m telling.

However, I knew that Aidan was totally playing hard to get.

When he let me borrow his colouring pencils I just knew that deep down he loved me back

and I couldn’t let the possibility of true love fall from my grasp.

I needed to impress him.

Something to make him realise that he loved me back.

Then I saw him swinging between two tables while the boys cheered on.

How does he do that? He’s just soo talented. Is there anything he can’t do?!

I stared at him in awe.

Then I had it.

If I could swing like that too, he’d realise that we have loads in common and love me forever.

So, I waited until I knew all the boys were watching.

Held on to the two tables, lifted my body off the ground and began swinging.

 

Going...
Going…

 

Oh, look at me goo!

Why haven’t I done this before?!

Look at how cool I seem!

WOOHOOOO!!

 

Oh, wait a minute… These tables are really wonky…….

 

Going.............
Going………….

 

*THUMP so loud it is heard in the North Pole*

 

ufkofjgok
“What the hell was that?!” “Christ,I dunno, sounded like a bag of spuds”
Gone.
Gone.

*Deadly silence. Chloe lies motionless, face down in a pool of blood for atleast two minutes until someone runs to get a Teacher*

“Is she dead?” Someone asks.

Yes, I did die as a matter of fact. I’m writing this from beyond the grave!

ghost

 

 

…No, I’m joking. This is not The Lovely Bones and I did live to tell the tale. Albeit complete with a busted lip and nose.

 

 

 

I know what you’re thinking; so did Aidan ever love me back?

 

 

 

Nope.

 

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